


Birthday Boy Blues

by ncdover1285



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Supernatural Convention, depressed jensen, supportive Misha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 23:37:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13962531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncdover1285/pseuds/ncdover1285
Summary: This is my submission for the Birthday Bang to celebrate Jensen's Birthday. Jensen is at a con when a fan asks a question about his age and this starts his depression off. Misha is there to make him feel better.





	Birthday Boy Blues

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for Jensen's fortieth birthday and was supposed to be 4040 words. Somehow I actually managed that. Yay! This is however, the first time I have written a cockles fic, so please take that into consideration and let me know what you think.

Jensen was out on stage, he loved doing these conventions. The fans were always amazing and being around the guys was always something he loved. Yeah, Danneel was cool with the relationship between him and Misha, but he still enjoyed the alone time the conventions afforded them, with no kids around and the girls back home he could relax into Misha in a way he wouldn’t allow himself at home. She had been a little surprised when he brought it up to her, but she had been open minded to the idea and even embraced it once she saw how happy he had been after he became comfortable with his feelings toward Misha. Jensen had never thought of himself as anything other than a red blooded heterosexual american male, then Misha had came along and changed all that. He still wasn’t interested in other men, although he could admit whether or not someone looked good, this was something he had always been able to do. He wondered if he would have been as accepting if Danneel had come to him asking for a relationship with someone else, even if it was someone they both knew fairly well. He wasn’t sure, but he hoped he would never have to find out. Misha and Danneel flirted around a little bit and had even both been with him at the same time. Misha had never been with her alone though at least not all the way. They were best friends so they would goof around and sometimes after quite a bit of alcohol they would get handsy but that’s usually when one or the other would call Jensen to join in. 

 

Jensen was brought out of his thoughts by a fan addressing him with a question. Misha smiled a little amused at him when he realized he hadn’t been paying attention. Usually when he would space out like that he was remembering something they had gotten into in the nights before the panel, or even thinking about what he wanted to do or have done to him. Misha laid a hand on his shoulder, looking at him now with a little concern and Jensen just smiled and shook his head. He looked in the audience to the fan and asked her to please repeat her question, determined to pay attention this time. “So, Jensen, you have a birthday coming up. Don’t think we could ever possibly forget.” At this the entire crowd began cheering and Jensen felt his face flame up. “Yeah, I do. I seem to have one of those every year, I just don’t understand it.” The fan giggled a little bit but seemed to focus back in on her question. “So how does it feel to be almost half a century old.” Jensen spluttered a little at this comment and turned to Misha as if to ask did she really just ask that? He eventually got himself together enough to respond to the fan after the crowd had died down. There seemed to be just as many boos as there were cheers at the question. “Well, I’m only turning forty, but I guess it is closer to fifty than it is zero, but I still feel thirty so I’m not too sure.” The crowd seemed to notice his discomfort and allowed him his time to process what he was feeling about the question. Misha was answering what questions he could and deflecting the ones that were directed towards Jensen. This was part of the reason he loved doing panels with Misha. He truly understood what Jensen needed and worked extremely hard to make sure he got it. He did manage to answer a few more questions as the panel went on but the fans seemed to avoid bringing up his age anymore and Misha kept giving him sympathetic looks like he completely understood what he was feeling right now, about the mini melt down that Jensen is having in his head right now. 

 

Then again Jensen thinks, he might just understand. After all Misha is even older than Jensen is. He forgets about that quite often. Misha is so outgoing and full of life that Jensen sometimes forgets that he isn’t some twenty something year old running around set being a goofball like the rest of them. Speaking of Misha, he keeps giving Jensen these looks, like we are so talking about this when we get back to the room. The guys on set of course know about their relationship, but they keep it pretty private because all the fans would go nuts, I mean they already have hundreds of blogs and thousands of fanfiction accounts dedicated to cockles, which he found out recently is a “ship” between him and Misha. Now that doesn’t include all the ones for Destiel, but these are based on them, the actual actors and not the characters and this makes him just a little more uncomfortable. While they are in the green room with only a few fans around because they have to sell tickets back here as well, no time for the actors to actually unwind and turn off their public persona, Misha comes up and lays a hand on his shoulder gently rubbing his thumb over the spot where his neck and shoulder come together. Jensen doesn’t really mind the fact that the fans are back here normally, but this has hit him hard and today he would really like to just curl up next to Misha for a few minutes before autograph sessions begin. 

 

“Hey big guy, what’s going on? You still upset about that one fan’s question?” Misha always seems to know him so well. “Nah, well, yeah just a little. I guess I just sort of forgot that I was that old. I don’t really feel like I should be ‘half a century old’ but I don’t know. Do I act like it to you? Do I look like it?” Misha looked around and noticing that the only fans that had been back there had already been lead back out to the main room of the convention, sat down on Jensen lap. This of course made Jensen laugh and those little laugh lines that Misha was so in love with showed on his face. “First of all, she said ALMOST half a century, and second of all, you definitely do not look or act like an old man. I should definitely know since, you know, I am older than you. Also, because well, I don’t think old men would be able to do some of the things we do in bed.” This last part was said in a whisper against Jensen’s ear and sent a shiver down his spine. Misha would need to behave or they would be late to autographs. As it turns out that wouldn’t be a problem as Jared came bounding around the corner and plopping his long frame down onto the couch next to the couple. “Hey hey, none of that now, someone might see you, because you know, you guys are so awesome at keeping this whatever it is between you both secret. Oh, so get this, I saw something online the other day about you two. It was one of those fan story things but it was about you all not Dean and Cass.” “Don’t tell me you read those Jared that’s a little scary since, you know, you actually do know us and don’t have to just make up some stuff to post online.” Okay, so maybe Jensen was not in the best mood today, sue him. “No for real, some of them actually sound like they KNOW you. There was one I found it was called something about Cockles and it had stuff in it I swear they had to have had cameras because it was so true. That or maybe you guys just don’t keep as good a secret as you thought. Anyway just wanted to let you know, oh and I was told to let you know autographs were supposed to start about three minutes ago. Okay bye!” With that Jared bounced right back out of the room leaving it so much quieter than it had been only seconds before. 

 

“You know those people who write the fanfiction seem to get his personality down pretty good too. He really does seem like an energetic puppy sometimes. Thank god he doesn’t pee on the furniture though.” This made both of them laugh and Misha just shrugged like he hadn’t just been talking about their friend peeing inside, just ew. Jensen and Misha then stood up to make their way to autographs and Misha stops him and leads him around the corner into a room that was just a little more private. “You know that whatever they say, you are still an amazing person and someone I want to spend the rest of my life with right?” This made Jensen blush and smile so big he thought his face would break. These are the smiles that Misha loves and the sparkle in Jensen’s eyes that he hadn’t seen much of today was slowly starting to come back. “You are such a cheese ball you know that? Of course I know that though, even if I share you with the ladies, I still love you and you keep me sane sometimes when I think I would lose my mind otherwise.” Misha gave a thousand watt smile back to Jensen and then kissed him starting around the corner back through the green room they were really late now. “Yeah but you like this cheese ball.” 

 

So finally when they made it to autographs they were separated again, Misha had a table off to the side with Mark and Alex. Apparently they were playing up the two dads thing at this convention. Jensen of course was in the center with Jared who was waiting with his dopey grin already on display. “Have fun?” He quietly questioned as Jensen slid into his position behind the table. He just looked at him as if to say really? You want to talk about us keeping quiet? But instead he just rolled his eyes at the big puppy and started talking to the first fan in line. This was going to be a really long day. The autograph session actually went faster than he thought it would at first. There were fans there who were helping the different actors with their respective charities. He thought this was pretty awesome and actually wished he could talk to the one girl a little longer. She was the one who started it and while they were named after a certain blue eyed angel they still helped all the different charities supported by the cast. She had a beautiful pendant for him and a book. The book was a compilation of notes from different fans describing what he meant to them. This made his eyes get a little damp and he had to put that away for later, couldn’t be crying in front of everyone again.

 

After autographs they went to photo ops. These were always his favorite, well most of the time, because the fans always had some really out there ideas for how they should pose. He looked over to see Misha talking to Alex and waiting for their photo area to be rearranged. The photos they were doing now were the ones with him and Jared both in the pictures and believe it or not they actually had puppy ears for the big dope to wear to make him really look like a puppy. The fans in this op had also brought a net and instructed Jensen to be the dog catcher, he was sure there was some meaning behind it that he wasn’t going to think too hard on. He knew that not everyone “shipped” him and Misha and that there were quite a few who thought him and Jared were together as well. Those he didn’t understand at all. He could see that maybe he and Misha acted like they were more than just friends on occasion, those occasions were blatantly labeled on youtube, but he and Jared had only ever been friends. Granted they were best friends, on the verge of brother type of friends but lovers? No way even the thought was hilarious to him and he started grinning. The girls eat that right up, commenting on how his smile made him look so much younger. This however caused the real smile to slip right off his face and caused him to have to put the fake one back on. He really didn’t want to think about his age anymore today. His birthday wasn’t even for another few days and already he was dreading it. Finally, the photo ops with Misha came around. He definitely preferred these to the ones that he had to do with Jared and the ones with him and the fans alone. The fans usually wanted something cute with them holding hands or acting like they were kissing and he always had to act like he thought it was horrible, when in fact, these were the best. They were able to be close and semi intimate without anyone saying anything about it. Yeah, he could definitely see where they got him and Misha being together. Oh well, it was too much work to try and hide it any better.

 

Photo ops finally finished and away from the prying eyes of the public, Jensen was standing in the bathroom of his and Misha’s motel room. He was just standing there looking into the mirror like it held the answers to all his questions. Questions such as where did all the time go? What happened to the young guy who started out on this crazy show fourteen years ago? Hell, where was the guy that was so flustered over the cute new quy that he couldn’t remember his lines and all the other guys gave him grief over? He was starting to wonder what made Misha still want to be around him. He definitely wasn’t the attractive young actor that he used to be, and with the kids and wife at home he wasn’t able to devote very much time away from work and conventions, not nearly as much as he had once been able to. Speaking of kids and a wife at home, Jensen needed to call Danneel and let her know that his head wasn’t completely in the game tonight so if he seemed distant in his text messages that was why. She would worry about him otherwise. He really did have an amazing family. He had three great kids that thought he hung the moon and stars, an amazing wife who loved him more than anything on the planet, and Misha. Misha was a part of his family that he had never expected, but he wouldn’t know how to function without him in it now. Misha had introduced him to polyamory when Jensen had never even thought to know what it was. Why would anyone want to share their relationship with anyone else? Well it turns out that you can love more than one person without it taking away from the other. When Jensen was at home with Danneel they had family time, which sometimes included Misha and even Vickie, and these were some of Jensen's favorite times. He was able to have not only his wife and kids but Misha with him, his kids and Misha’s kids didn’t see anything wrong with all of them getting to spend time together. Holidays especially were a big thing to Misha, so they all got together and had big celebrations for even the silliest holidays. 

 

There were times when he and Danneel would need a reset, some time just for them or for them and the kids. These times Misha never seemed jealous of, he understood because he and Vickie needed these times as well. When they were away from home however, like at work in Vancouver or at the conventions, that was Jensen and Misha’s reset time. They always stayed together while they were away, going so far as to have a place in Vancouver where they both lived while filming. Of course with Danneel being on the show there were a few weeks where they had to share the house in Vancouver but it had definitely been worth it. This had been one of the funnest times during filming recently, not only did he and Misha get to pick on her on set but they made it all better when they would return home at night. Jensen wasn’t jealous at all watching Danneel with Misha. It almost felt like home, the two people he loved the most loving each other and responding to him together, that was why he found the whole polyamory thing to be their best relationship choice yet. Jensen realized he had been off in his own head again while standing in front of the bathroom mirror as a strong set of hands made their way around his waist and up under his shirt to rest on his chest. Misha rested his head on Jensen’s shoulder and continued gently tracing the muscles on his chest. He had kept his figure because, well, Dean was a hunter. Dean was a hunter who for some reason enjoyed going topless, so Jensen kept his physique quite nice. Even for an old man, he quipped in his own mind. 

 

“Quit that, I can tell you’re doing it again. Don’t let it get to you. You aren’t that old, and I’m not the only one who finds you sexy as hell. No, I’m not talking about Danni either, even though that’s true she does also. No, I’m talking about the hundreds of fans that came to see you today. They waited in line for hours for the photos and the autographs, even just a chance to speak to you one time for a couple of minutes. That made their entire lives.” Jensen raised his hand and placed it on Misha’s through his shirt. “God complex much?” Misha laughed and nuzzled even closer into Jensen’s neck. “Nah, just a little character bleed. Remember, Castiel was like god for a while.” This made them both laugh and Jensen was once again reminded that Misha was perfect for him. “I was about to go call Danni want to come with me out of this bathroom, I mean I know they are actually pretty clean but I just realized that I’ve spent way too much time in here tonight.” Jensen started toward the bedroom pulling Misha by the hand and when Misha pulled him to a stop and pushed him up against the wall between the bathroom door and the one that lead out into the hallway he easily fit between the smaller man and the barrier behind him. Misha unbuttoned his shirt while Jensen kept his mouth attached to Misha’s neck, just below the collar line. This was his area, the part where no one but himself, Misha, Danneel and Vickie ever had access. If they ever did a shot where misha didn’t have a shirt on they would have to cover the slightly varying shades of bruising left from Jensen’s skilled tongue and lips, but for now he wasn’t worried about it at all. They were starting to let their bodies carry their minds away as Jensen heard a sound from further into the room. Misha groaned as he leaned back to look Jensen in the eye. “That’s her ringtone isn’t it? We were just getting started.” He put on a pouty face that Jensen knew was just for show. Misha enjoyed talking to the girls as much as he did, but it wasn’t Danneel’s ringtone going off. “Nope, that’s Vickie’s new ringer on my phone. Now, why pray tell would your wife be calling me at a convention?”

 

Misha honestly didn’t know so he just shrugged and stepped out of the way to allow Jensen to get to his phone which had been dropped on the nightstand when he came into the room before his long stay in front of the bathroom mirror. By the time he got there it had already stopped reading and as he picked it up it beeped signaling an incoming text message. He held it out for Misha to see what had been written. 

 

Hey sorry if I’m interrupting your all’s guy time, but have you seen my husband? I can’t seem to get him to answer his phone. Danneel was wanting to see if we could all get together after this convention and do something for your birthday. Maybe invite Gen and Jared too. It’s been forever since we all had the chance to hang out, and Sarah agreed to watch the kids for us so we could all have a few drinks and be adults instead of just parents for once. Well, anyway if you see him please tell him to call me. Thanks.

 

“That actually sounds like a great idea. We should totally all get together and have a huge celebration for your birthday. Might make you realize that you do still have people who care about you, and I have no idea where my phone went, if Jared took it I’m going to kill him.” Misha then went off to supposedly look for his phone so Jensen figured he’d go ahead and message Vickie back.

 

Sorry, he has no idea where his phone ran off to, and you can message me anytime, you know that. As far as the party, that sounds great whatever you and Danni want to do is fine with me. As far as Gen and Jared, well that will probably depend on if he took Misha’s phone or not. If he posts anything else on Misha’s twitter I’m not sure the fans are going to believe him when he says it wasn’t him. 

 

He put the phone back down on the nightstand while laughing at his friend and boyfriend’s silly antics and went to his bag to get some fresh night clothes out. While he was getting dressed for the night his phone began ringing again. Guess people really do love him. He laughed out loud at the silliness he was feeling after spending a little while with Misha. This time it really was Danneel, she was calling because Jared told her that he may need some special attention. Jensen rolled his eyes at this, yeah that sounded like something Jared would say. He explained to her what the fan had asked him during his and Misha’s panel that afternoon and how he felt about it. She calmly sat and listened and gave support where it was needed. God he was one lucky man. He was laying on the bed still talking with Danneel when Misha came back into the room. Apparently he had found his phone as he was furiously typing away at the screen as he walked through the door. “Stupid Jared, so help me he is nothing but an overgrown child. He doesn’t have any respect for other people’s things. Can you believe this? He did it again. Why does it have to always be something stupid on my twitter feed?” Finally Misha looked up from his phone when all he received from Jensen was a low snicker. He mouthed it’s Danni as Misha sat down on the bed beside him. “Oh sorry, hey Danni! I miss your beautiful face!” She giggled at Misha’s silly comment, “miss your ugly mug too,” and he continued to type away as he stuck his tongue out at her when she clearly couldn’t see it. Jensen did let her in on the response though. He finally hung up the phone and Misha finally finished explaining to his minions about Jared’s stupidity, AGAIN. “How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?” Jensen asked laying his head on Misha’s chest. “Don’t know, but I feel like the lucky one most of the time.” He wrapped his arm around Jensen and they just laid there enjoying the quiet and each other while Misha’s phone was chiming continuously in the background.


End file.
